Starting Over - Chapter One (possibly)

Annabelle kicked a piece of gravel away from her foot and watched it topple a few feet across the parking lot. She stretched her leg out in front of her. She yawned and shifted her body on the flat concrete she was sitting on.
The parking lot was still pretty full from dance rehearsal letting out. Annabelle could see a more cars on the other side outside the K and M buildings. She wasn't used to so many cars after practice. It let out an hour early tonight, but it had never been this full before. It comforted her; made her feel like she wasn't stranded.
Annabelle glanced at the entrance gate hoping Isaac would pull into the parking lot soon. She felt like he should've been there by now. She couldn't know what time it was without her phone, but knew she'd been sitting in the hallway for a while.
She wanted to pull out her books and start on her homework so she won't be up late doing it. There wasn't enough light to accomplish anything. She thought about walking to the baseball field to in the bleachers under the street light. She thought Isaac might not see her and just drive away. Instead, she stared at the dark wall in front of her occasionally glancing at the entrance when cars drove along the main street.
Annabelle could see apartments above the wall. Some had their lights on, but others were completely dark as if they weren't home. Too bad she didn't live this close so she could walk home, she thought.
"Man, I need to learn how to drive."
Annabelle remembered her brother and Zach leaving for college next weekend. She'd start her life over once their gone. No more late practice, complicated college-needed classes, and she could finally be around Kyle.
Annabelle couldn't keep her mind off of Kyle. She could tell because she tried a lot, separate herself from him, pledged her love to Zach, though it was a lie, and watched him with other girls instead of turning her head. She couldn't shake his heart-wrentching image. She couldn't stop from wanting to touch him; be near him, though it didn't help that they worked together. Another thing Isaac manipulated or talked her into, she couldn't remember which exactly, but there all the same anyway.
"Belle?" She heard Kyle's voice from across the parking lot. He was putting something bulky in his trunk. He shut it and walked closer towards her.
She didn't even realize that was his green Toyota. Then again, how could she without noticing the sun patches on the passenger door and hood. He had saved for a while for a car and ended up spending less on it. He used the rest of the money for art supplies, she imagined. The car fit him. It was familiar, worn, but with experience. And he never really works on it so it must have a good engine.
Kyle stood over Annabelle. He puts his hands in his pockets. He began to shuffle gravel with is feet as if trying to think of something to say.
"Why you here so late?" Annabelle spoke. She wanted to stand up. She felt uncomfortable with him over her, but what would she do with her hands? She could put them in his pockets too, but Zach wouldn't like that very much.
"I had an art show. My teacher chose a picture of mine and you get to bring two others."
"Wow that must've been amazing." Annabelle smiled. She knew how important his paintings were to him. She would have liked to see the art show.
"Nah, my teacher chose three others, too. Only our parents came," Kyle said in a soft voice shrugging his shoulders," there's were so much better than mine. I haven't been able to do very good drawings; I guess I have a lot to think about for next year."
A group of people came out of the art room just outside the K building. They went to their cars, opened doors, and talked to each other making it hard for Annabelle and Kyle to keep their conversation.
"Where's your parents?" Annabelle asked.
"My dad's in Twenty nine Palms till the end of the summer. And my mom looked at my paintings then left. She has to get up really early everyday to work at the hospital."
Annabelle nodded her head. She pinched her lips together with her fingers. She couldn't think of anything to talk about. She wasn't sure why Kyle was one of her really close friends. They had enough in common, especially talking about music and art. It might have had something to do with Isaac and Zach leaving for college.
"What are you doing here? Don't you normally have dance on Wednesday's?"
"Yeah, they let out early again. There's really no need for practice since the quarter's almost over. I shouldn't've even come, but you know Isaac. He wants me to secure my place for next year." Annabelle could tell her tone was a little agitated.
Kyle stepped in front of Annabelle and sat next to her on the curb. He put his arm around the pole since there wasn't much room between them. He kept his face forward as if he was keeping his distance.
"Why haven't you called your brother? It's not good to sit out her in the dark all alone."
"I got my phone taken away again." Annabelle glanced at Kyle knowing he'd give a disapproving look. She'd gotten it taken away the night before for not calling when she hung out after work. Her mom wouldn't care, she just wanted to be informed. Annabelle had a bad habit of forgetting to call when she was around Kyle and his friends.
"You want me to give you a ride home?"
"What time is it?"
Kyle pulled out his phone. He pushed some buttons and it lit up. "Seven twenty. He's a little late."
Annabelle turned her lip and shook her head. It was typical of Isaac to make her wait; to make her do anything really. She took his phone out of his hands and accidentally touched his thumb. What a nice feeling, she thought. She'd touched his hand before, but Kyle made everything new all over again.
She pressed "I" and scrolled down to Isaac. She clicked send holding the phone to her ear. Annabelle looked at Kyle. She could kind of see his beautiful amber eyes from the light across the parking lot. She could see him look back into her eyes and quickly turn his gaze to the asphalt. She leaned over resting her head on his shoulder. She rubbed her index finger along his arm from his wrist to the top of his elbow.
"What do you want, Kyle?" Isaac spoke in a huffy voice.
"What's your problem?" Annabelle asked.
"Oh, hey Belle. What are you doing with Kyle's phone?"
"He's letting me use it, obviously," Annabelle said," why aren't you here, yet?"
"We're leaving right now. Cops just ended, you know how it is."
Annabelle rolled her eyes. She sighed.
"Tell him I can take you home if he hasn't left since I'm here," Kyle said in a whispered voice.
Annabelle nodded.
"What's he saying?" Isaac spoke louder speaking into the phone.
"Nothing. Kyle's taking me home."
"No! We're leaving right now."
"Who?" Annabelle raised her eyebrow. "Just stay there."
"Zach wants to see you before he has to go home anyway."
"Oh, Zach's with you," Annabelle said expressing her disappointment. "Kyle's already here. I'll have to wait another twenty minutes."
"Your waiting for me," Isaac spoke with a belittled tone speaking each word carefully.
"Okay, we'll see. See you at home, Isaac."
Annabelle pressed end. Isaac wasn't going to control her this time. She was going to set her foot down no matter how awful he'd make her feel about it later. She didn't know what his problem was with Kyle anyway; they used to be really close. Annabelle set the phone in his hands. She lifted her head and stood up.
"Let's go." Annabelle pointed her thumbs towards the car. "I mean, if that's okay?"
"Of course." Kyle stood up with a big smile on his face. He picked up her backpack and threw the strap on his shoulder.
Annabelle enjoyed it when he took care of her. Taking her home in his own car; carrying her backpack with his muscled arms. He didn't carry her stuff when Zach was around, but she didn't blame him. They walked to his car. He unlocked the passenger side first. Annabelle lifted the tough handle and listened to the door creak as she opened it. She sat on the cream seat stretching her legs out across the spotless floor.

The Unwelcome Guest

The Unwelcome Guest
Adrienne pulled along the curb just before the mailbox making sure her tires were in the cement. She took a deep breath as she put the car in gear and ended the ignition. Looking at the house, she could see that it was dark inside with a faint glare in the window.
Great, Tom is still up.
Adrienne grabbed her briefcase and got out of her car. She walked across the grass peering inside as she got closer to the house. She reached the security door and saw her mom’s laptop switch to its screensaver.
Yes, they must’ve just gone to bed. I could do laundry in peace.
Adrienne unlocked the door. She went inside and quietly shut it behind here. She glanced upstairs and saw her mom’s bedroom wasn’t wide open. She slowly walked down the hallway to the family room. She could hear the dryer spinning and the washer churning. She opened the laundry room doors to look inside.
41 seconds. Guess I’m gonna be up late. She must’ve just gone to bed.
Adrienne pushed the doors closed making the wheels squeak. She gritted her teeth and tried to be quieter. She went in the bathroom to get her clothes and saw the basket was emptied.
“Urg, why can’t you leave my stuff alone?” She said quietly to herself.
Adrienne went into the garage. She pulled out shirts, jeans, and socks stacking them in her arms. She tossed her mom’s clothes on the floor to find more of hers. She saw the phone on the pool table and dialed. She listened through the rings and heard Tristan answer.
“Hey, I just wanted to say good night,” Adrienne said.
“Okay, goodnight. Call me tomorrow. Do you have some jeans washed for me?”
“Yeah, I will. Give me to Wendy.” She took the clothes inside dropping a view on the carpet as she walked. She saw the vacuum in the middle of the room with the cord lain out on the floor. She tossed the clothes into a pile in front of the couch.
You think I care that you vacuumed? Just something else for you to use, well guess what, I don’t really care.
“Hi, momma. Where you at?”
“I’m at home. Where are you?” Adrienne asked.
“I’m at Kelley’s house and grandma’s house, grandma Bristol.”
“Are you getting along with Wallie and your cousin?”
“Kay. Goodnight. See you Friday. Be safe,” Wendy said. She shuffles to someone else making the phone make a static sound in the receiver.
Adrienne smiles at Wendy’s silliness. She holds the receiver to her shoulder with her jaw. She looks around for the remote and clicks on the TV. The channel blares as the picture comes in. Crap! She frantically lowers the volume.
“Mom?” Wallace gets on the phone.
Adrienne holds the phone to her ear, “yeah kid, it’s me. What are you up to?” She begins to sort the clothes into separate matching piles. She sat on the couch setting the remote next to her.
“I’m ‘bout to sit at the table to eat dinner with grandma and grandpa. I think grandma made spaghetti and meatballs.”
“That’s dad’s favorite.” Adrienne tucks the phone under her jaw to use two hands. “You finished your homework, right?”
“Yeah, I didn’t have a lot. I got to ride bikes with Kelley and her friends on the street. Then Auntie came and picked her up, so I didn’t do anything till you called,” Wallace’s voice faded from the receiver. There was chatter in the background, “Okay, grandma, I’m coming, I’m talking to Adrienne.”
“Mom, why can’t I stay with you while I’m in school?” Wallace asked.
“Because your dad and I don’t have a babysitter for you and my jobs already too far from your school to drive back and forth. It’s just until your grandpa gets better,” Adrienne takes a deep breath. “I’ll let you eat, kid. You mind your grandma, okay. Are you helping your dad with Wendy?”
She heard him sigh and say, “yeah mom, love you. Here’s dad.”
“Hey, babe. How was work?” Tristan asked.
“Good, it was pretty busy, but Candace wants me to do some paper work tonight. Did you call the Union today?”
“Yeah. Ernie says their going to get some work back in a couple weeks.”
“He said that a couple of weeks ago,” Adrienne shook her head pressing her lips together, “I can’t stand it here anymore, Tristan.”
“I know babe, but it’s the only thing right now. You know when work picks back up we’ll be able to get another place. This time we’ll prepare for it being this slow. Come over tomorrow and you can drive to work early in the morning. I really wanna see you and the kids miss you,” Tristan said in a soothing voice, “I love you, babe.”
Adrienne closed her eyes and said trying to keep composure, “love you too, hun.”
Adrienne pressed off on the phone and set it on the couch. She stood up to wrap up the cord to the vacuum and rested it along the bar in the kitchen. She sat on the couch and grabbed a pair of jeans checking the pockets. She tossed them in the hallway in front of the laundry room doors.
Adrienne finished sorting the clothes and rushed upstairs. She glanced at her mom’s door and saw that it was cracked open. She turned the light on in the bathroom to keep the glare out of her mom’s room.
There were a pile of clothes on the floor in the loft. The boxes that were in the hall closet were now in her bedroom doorway. I don’t go in your room and get into your things. Stay out of my stuff! Adrienne put the clothes back in the hamper in her room. She shoved the boxes along the closet doors getting them out of the way. She stood up and sighed as she looked at her cluttered room. She pushed the hamper into the loft towards the stairs.
Adrienne heard voices from her mom’s room. She rolled her eyes and slowly slid the hamper down each step. She could hear the ceiling creek from movement in her mom’s room. She continued to sort the clothes ignoring the sound of their heavy footsteps on the stairs. Each step squeaked under their weight. She rubbed her forehead and raised the volume on the TV station. She could hear the rasping of her mom’s slippers against the tile.
It stopped and Adrienne guessed they were in the room. She saw Tom open the garage door and step outside. She could tell her mom was standing behind her or somewhere in the hallway staring. Adrienne continued sorting occasionally glancing up at the program.
Cecelia walked onto the carpet. She picked up a p,hurple shirt and set it in a pile of darker clothing. She was wearing a blue nightgown with some kind of faded critter patterned down to the seam covering her excessive belly just bellow her butt. Her wavy blonde hair was wrapped in a clip. She rested her hand on her hips.
“Is Tristan gonna bring Wendy over Friday? She’s been gone for, what two weeks?” Cecelia stretched her night gown further down her thighs. She began to rub her wide arms, “It’s chilly down here.”
“Tristan’s helping his dad right now. I don’t know what his plans are for this weekend. Did I wake you up?”
“No, we were watching a movie upstairs. He’s not gonna bring that boy?”
“Yeah mom, that boy is his son, of course he’s gonna bring him.” She could hear agitation in her own voice. “Are you done with laundry?”
“I’m gonna put a load of jeans and then you could use it. You know we might be going to the desert this weekend. I just bought a pipe for the razor, Tom’s going to put it on and he wants to work on the sand rail before Thanksgiving.”
“Okay.” Adrienne flipped a logo shirt inside out and set it next to her. She picked up the purple shirt and put it where it was before. “Isn’t it going to be boring for you?”
Go away please.
“Yeah, but I was thinking I could take Wendy so she can learn more on her quad.”
“Can you put your load in the washer so that I can start laundry? And no she’s not gonna go if your not gonna take Wallie.”
“No, he’s a pain. He gets into everything. And you’re not the one that has to clean after him.” Cecelia goes to the laundry room to put her clothes into a basket and then the dryer.
Adrienne pressed pause on the DVR. Here we go. She reached to the bottom of the hamper and pulled out a bundled sock. She unraveled it and tossed it with the socks.
“Mom, you know I clean after my kids. What do you think I’m doing now?” Adrienne curled up her lip. Did I ask you why? All as said is you have to take him too and it turns into a big huge guilt trip.
“Well, the bathroom was filthy. He just makes a mess and he’s loud. Why should you have to take care of him, he’s not your kid?” Cecelia’s voice echoed from the laundry room.
That’s what it’s really all about.
“We all use the bathroom.” She said in a monotonous voice.
“Oh, by the way, Tristan needs to stop leaving his stuff around or I’m gonna throw it away. I need you to give me some money for the bills it’s due on the twenty-sixth, but I need to send it out before we leave for Thanksgiving weekend-“
“Can you ask Tristan to mow the lawn on Thursday before the trash gets taken out?” Tom walks inside and heads down the hall before she could respond.
Adrienne opens her arms. Okay then, guess it wasn’t a question. She stared at the carpet pretending to concentrate on Cecelia as she started listing complaints and things that need to be done. She didn’t want to look at her mom. She forced a smile and rubbed her forehead with the tips of her fingers.
How am I supposed to look at her? How am I supposed to “respect” her like this? Does she realize what she’s doing? No nothings ever enough.
Cecelia came out of the laundry room. “I’m having my surgery on Tuesday, so I’m gonna need you to be here to take me because I won’t be able to drive afterwards.”
“Tom can’t do it? I have to work.”
“No, Tom has his weekends. He chose Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s instead of Saturday and Sunday.”
Yeah, so he can party on the weekends. What a loser!
“You can tell Wallace’s mom to take him while I’m recovering so I don’t have to deal with him.”
“Oh my gosh mom! He’s a boy, he’s gonna be rowdy and adventurous. Besides, his mom’s not in the picture; she never has been. I’m the one who’s helped raise him for five years now. I’m his mom it’s time for you to finally get used to it.” Adrienne picked up her jeans and threw them in the washer with her mom’s load. She grabbed her briefcase and went towards the stairs.
“This is something else I have to do now. No.”
“Just leave it, mom. I’ll do yours too it’s not a big deal.” Adrienne jammed up the stairs ignoring what else her mom had to say. “Urg!” She went in her room and shut the door. She opened her briefcase ripping out her folders of paperwork. She sat on her bed and tried to read them over.
Cecelia walks in her room carrying a pile of wet jeans. She drops them to the floor. “I’ll need my money by the morning,” she says nonchalant.
Adrienne’s mouth opens. She raises her eyebrow and watches her mom walk out the door. Adrienne stares at the pile of soaked jeans unsure of what to think. She let out a chuckle and went back to her paperwork.
I’ll just use the laundry mat then. And I won’t have to pay as much of your stupid bills. Guilt trips are longer going to work, mom.


Adrienne stood in front of her mother-in-laws house holding her hamper in her arms. She rubbed her forehead as she waited for someone to answer the door.
Kelly yanked the door open with a smile on her face knowing who it was. “Auntie!” She stepped outside and wrapped her arms around Adrienne’s stomach.
“Okay Kelly, it’s nice to see you, too. Can you let me in so I can see my family?” Adrienne grinned.
“My mom says I can spend the night cause she has to work really late so she’ll pick me up after school tomorrow.” Kelly stepped into the foyer and walked down the entryway.
“Are you happy about that?” Adrienne leaned her head to the side pondering.
“Yeah.” Kelly went into the family room. “Guess whose here, Wallie?”
Adrienne dragged her hamper inside and left it in the entryway. She shut the door and walked in. She could smell something frying in the kitchen and took a deeper whiff.
“Mommy!” Wendy runs from the family room and rams her face into Adrienne’s thighs making her take a step back.
Adrienne picks Wendy up and holds her in her arms. Wendy rests her head against Adrienne’s shoulder. She could hear a muffled I missed you. “I missed you, too, baby.” She walks into the family room and spots Wallie in front of the TV waiting for a greeting. “Come here, kid.”
Wallace stands up and hurries to hug her waist. He clenches tightly resting his cheek over her belly button.
Has it been that long? Man, I can’t wait till we get another place.
“When are you gonna come home?” Wendy asks with inquisitive voice.
“You mean when are you gonna go home?” Adrienne kisses her cheek.
Wendy lifts her head and looks at Adrienne’s face. “No. When you gonna come home. Not this house the other house?”
“Grandma Russo’s house?”
“No! The other house.”
Adrienne sets Wendy on the ground. She kisses Wallace on the forehead. “We don’t live at that house anymore, baby. We’ll get our own house real soon, but it won’t be that one. Come on; show me where you’ve been sleeping.”
Wallace takes Adrienne’s hand and pulls her towards the hallway. Wendy begins to whine about their old house. Wallace yanks harder talking about having a TV in his new room and how it used to be his dad’s room.
Adrienne stumbles over a toy, but braces herself against a couch. She catches a glimpse of Tristan coming in the kitchen from the backyard. He grins and drops tongs he was holding on the counter.
He steps around the sink walking towards her. He was wearing a green flannel with a stainless white shirt underneath. I love it when he dresses up. His hair brown hair is styled back. His cheekbones were puffy and his skin was dark under his eyes. He hugged her shoulders and pressed his lips against her neck.
Adrienne let her eyes drift close. She took a deep breath rubbing her cheek against his ear. She stepped back and stared into his hazel eyes. She could see flour on his cheek and grease on his nose, but didn’t care. What a dork. She kissed his mouth caressing his cheek with her palm.
“Mommy, I thought you wanted to see my new room?” Wallace asked pulling her hand in his direction.
“I missed you babe,” Tristan said. “I made chicken.”
“I brought laundry and I paid my mom fifty dollars.”
“Good. You brought jeans.” Tristan said calmly forging a smile.
“I had to, hun. And no, I brought laundry to wash.” Adrienne gritted her teeth.
“That’s fine, babe. You’re here and that’s all that matters. How was work?”
“Mommy!” Wallace shook Adrienne’s hand.
“Okay, okay.” Adrienne followed Wallace trying to look back at Tristan. “How’s your dad?”
Tristan shrugged his shoulders. “He’s barbequeing.”
Is that good?
Wallace pulled Adrienne into the room. There was a TV against the wall. There were scattered toys on the floor and a desk next to the closet. Wallace and Wendy’s bags lay next to the bed. Tristan’s camping bag was rolled up and tucked under the mattress.
Adrienne let out a breath letting her cheeks puff out. It’s enough for now. It has to be better here.
Tristan came into the room rested his arm on the door frame. He stared at Adrienne. “It’s lime chicken.”
Adrienne stared at Tristan while Wendy and Wallace raved over their new room and how they get to share with their dad. She shook her fingers through Wallace’s brown hair. Adrienne grabbed Wendy’s hand fitting her fingers in her palm. She looked up at Tristan and smiled tilting her head to the side.

What Is It?

On Sunday when Michael asked us to remember that God is all around us and with us that day and to praise knowing that, well, it made me sad. But not a sad sorrowful sad, a yearning sad. I've always had this desire, well, I've had it for quiet sometime and it comes and goes, that I wanna see God. Yeah, we all have the desire to see that person that created us and who saves us, but it gets to the point where I cry because I desire it that badly. Well, when I was in my car, you know cause that's when I pray the most for some reason, and I was asking him why it is that I always resort to wanting to see his image. And I feel bad, too. You know I can see him in a lot of things. When I look at nature I can see how big he is, his power, his creativity, his vastness. In the wind or when I look at the stars I can see his might and power. In the lives of his children I can see his love. And I've seen thousands of people joined together to praise him and show their devotion to him. That's not our love, well it is, but it's mainly his love because he sustains us, he doesn't give up on us. I see his compassion and provision when we're all singing on Sunday. And even that unity makes me even more sensitive than I already am at those moments. I see him in the lives of couples, I see their bond and know that intimacy God has for us. I see his safety and his care in my own relationship and the relationship I have with my daughter. I see his guidance, his grace, his inticateness, his justice, his order (having things in order) in his Word. I see his character everywhere, so I should feel like that's enough and yet I still want more. You know, I feel like God reveals a lot to me (I'm not saying more than others just that he does more than when I was little). I know things before they happen sometimes, I can tell when someone's upset (sometimes), I know what he wants when I ask him and he's willing to show me, I can feel his encouragement and will, I can hear what he says in my mind, I've felt him touch me when I'm sad and yet I still ask for more? And I know I won't be able to see his image untill he comes again or untill I die. So, I just say I can't wait till you come or I can't wait till I see you. Well, I was thinking that, what is it that makes me want to see him so badly? Do I want to see him so I know that he's real? I don't think so, I know he's real by just looking at the stars. I have no doubt in my mind that he's real, obviously I notice him everywhere. Is it because I wanna know what he looks like or who it is that I talk to? I don't think so, I could care less what he looks like because his image really isn't that important ( and I mean that in the most respect, because I care about all of who God is). Then I thought, maybe it's because if I see him, if I touch his hand and he wraps his arms around me, I'll know just how much he loves me. I know that he loves me a lot, but I'll know exactly. And if I see him nothing will matter because he's the most important thing ever. All my fears, all my dreams, all my troubles will just melt away because the only thing that'll matters is that intimacy that I'll recieve. My desire, my yearning, all that I work for will be met there. It makes me sad just picturing it. I hope that when that day comes it will be far better, I should say "far" a million times, than what I imagine. And I can't wait till he comes and I can't wait till I see him face to face.

Starting Over - Belle's Road Trip

Belle’s shoes rested on the red bucket seat under her. She held her knee’s against her chest and laid her chin on the beige interior. She stared out the back window at the sandy, barren hills. She didn’t want to be here, she thought. Kyle made her come, just like everybody else in her life. He wanted them to include her, but she wasn’t sure what she wanted anymore. She began a reverberating hum that seemed to resonate throughout the hushed car.
There was only about an hour more of light remaining. It left a purple tint atop the golden dunes leading into blue hues that grew bolder the higher you went. The sun was behind them now trying to melt underneath the horizon.
Ashley kept her gaze on the ceiling trying not to notice Belle’s noises. She had her arms crossed over her stomach and began weaving her knees side to side hitting the door handle with her left knee.
Oscar’s chair was reclined all the way back leaving little room for Belle behind him. His face was toward Kyle in the passenger’s seat. His breathing was rasping, but dulled as he repositioned leaving a wet spot on the seat.
Ashley glanced over at Belle with an agitated expression hoping she’d realize it and stop humming. She sat up in her seat to get her pink makeup box. She opened it, examined herself in the mirror, and reapplied more color. She flipped her chestnut hair over her shoulders as she brushed through it with her fingers. Then she offered Belle the mirror holding it out for her.
Belle shook her head knowing she wasn’t looking her best. She didn’t want to look spectacular so that they might think she wanted to be there. Or Kyle might get the impression she really did like him. So, before she got in the car she threw her blonde hair in a loose bun and used no makeup.
Kyle kept his eyes on the dark road in front of him as he struggled to keep his Wrangler in between the fading lines. He squeezed his lids shut to stop the burning. He could still see the arid landscape with patches of cacti and Joshua trees with what was left of the sunlight.
“Stop it already, Belle,” Ashley said with an irritated tone.
“Just trying to get a little music in this annoyingly, quiet car,” Belle explained.
Kyle peered at what he could see of Belle’s face in his rear-view mirror. She formed a large smile showing her white, strait teeth. He stared at her light brown eyes until she turned away to cover her face with her grey hood and lay against the window. He guessed she was ready to finally fall asleep.
Belle quietly hummed a familiar tone she would make before Zach came into her life. Now that he’s gone off to college maybe things will go back to the way they were before; the way they should’ve stayed, he thought.
“Stop humming already! It’s annoying,” Ashley snapped.
“Well, if there was music,” Belle said rubbing in the fact that she wouldn’t agree to music everyone else wanted in the last hour.
“How about country? You like country right, Ashley?” Kyle assumed.
“Love songs,” Belle argued with a grin.
Kyle turned the radio on. He tuned to a song he remembered as a child: “Leader of the Pack”.
Ashley began bouncing and swaying in her seat along with the tempo. She tried to sing the words skipping the ones she didn’t know, but kept singing anyway.
“I’d rather hear country than your version of an oldie’s song,” Belle complained.
“Ha, ha,” Ashley said sarcastically, “not everyone can sing, Belle, miss perfect-voice.”
Belle smiled at Ashley and said, “No just you.”
Ashley pouted her face. She whirled her head and looked out the window on her side of the car. She rewrapped her arms and rested them, once again, on her stomach. She turned her knees along with her whole body towards the door.
“Where’s your boyfriend?” Ashley teased keeping her face away from Belle. She shaped a smirk on her face thinking her comment would do to Belle what began to feel.
“Ashley!” Kyle yelled trying to get the bickering to stop before it continued further.
“I don’t know, you tell me,” Belle said.
“Girls!”
“I broke up with him,” Belle revealed, “but you knew that. In fact, you’ve talked to him since he’s been gone.”
Ashley snickered and criticized saying, “figures, you’ve always thrown away the things you care about the most like their worthless.”
“As opposed to someone who throws away the people that care about you by the way you treat them,” Belle argued, “Kyle and Oscar don’t wanna be forced to do things. I would know.”
“Since when do you care what they think or what they want? You take what you want and push it off and want nothing to do with it. But only now, your gonna end up hurting Kyle worse than you did Zach.”
Kyle jerked the car into the tight emergency lane and parked. He got out of the car and opened Ashley’s door. He grabbed Ashley by her shirt, pulled her out, and stuffed her in the driver’s seat.
“What are you doing?” Ashley panicked.
“You’re driving,” Kyle ordered, “just drive until you see lights then wake up Oscar, I’m too exhausted to talk to you. He knows where the hotel is so don’t argue.”
Oscar lifted his seat. He looked at Kyle with an eyebrow raised. He gave Ashley a pathetic look.
“You really can’t sing even though Belle’s a singer,” Oscar sided.
“Ha!” Belle instigated.
“And you do throw things away like they don’t mean anything to you, but they really do. Why are you trying to get rid of us, we’re better than Zach and your brother anyway?” Oscar informed, “And quitting the choir. What the hell is your problem?”
Belle took down her hood looking at Kyle pulling on his seatbelt. She set her hand on his shoulder.
“Great trip, Kyle. We’re instantly best friends.”
“You’re not even trying,” Kyle criticized.
Kyle closed his eyes and laid his head on the window seal with his back against the seat. He fought the urge to open his eyes to look at her as he let his body fall into it’s needed stillness.

Persuasive Speech: Rehab Programs

“In a prison the awe of public eye is lost, and the power of the law is spent, there are few fears, there are no blushes. The lewd inflame the lewd, the audacious harden the audacious,” Samuel Johnson wrote these words in The Idler. In prison there’s no worry about what your neighbor might think of you or any embarrassment. You’re no longer under the same restrictions of the law. The reckless; the fearless influence the unrestrained. The behavior of prisoners and the concept of being isolated from society is what cause inmates to find themselves back in prison. In my speech I will persuade you that more programs are needed to rehabilitate released prisoners and what programs would be effective.
The recidivism rate of prisons in our country, which is the repeated or habitual relapse into crime, is more than half of those that stay released. According to a study by the Bureau of Justice Statistics, “67 % of prisoners released in 1994 were rearrested within 3 years.” 74% over property, 67 over drugs, 62 % were public-order and violent offenders. What is the cause of these numbers? Imprisonment affects the well being of the prisoner. They become prisonized. In an article on uplink.com, “Prisons do more harm than good,” “Prisoners are faced with incidence of violence. And they are concerned for their safety”. They have to withstand the shock of entering prison, adapt to that way of life, their exposed to a different culture, then keeping contact with family becomes frustrating, they have endless free time to fill, and they lose their ability to make their own decisions. They’re told what to eat and when, what, where, and when to play and sleep. Lock-ups and isolation used for punishment are dehumanizing. Prisoners are reduced to nothing as they live with bear subsidence.
Now, you might be thinking who cares, they disserve to be there; they committed a crime? Well, for one thing we’re all human that make mistakes, some fewer and less severe than others. But their prison time affects us, too. As you probably already know, prisons take our money, or at least it will if you’re not currently working. More importantly, it puts us in fear of criminals and the prison-looking. So, what could be done about these high numbers since they did commit a crime or crimes? There are a few options that I think will work. First, I will discuss what kind of programs could be effective then I’ll explain what programs are already in place and what their doing.
The first thing, provide rehabilitation programs for each inmate leaving prison or jail to fit his or her needs. They will reshape how they live and show them how to re-enter society. This might include group homes, counseling on a regular basis, and employment assistance. Second, the judges could chose to put drug offenders through a drug rehab to replace prison time, with routine drug tests and lifestyle monitoring. This will not only help the drug abusers it will help the overcrowding of jails and help the recidivism rate even further. Next, correctional facilities should have education opportunities with the government requiring each inmate to attend. It will help pass time and when they are released their educated and not inadequate. And finally, the government should research more ethical ways to punish criminals; still keeping justice and integrity.
Are these just far fetched only-if ambitions? No, there are some programs already in place that show successful results. The Interchange Freedom Imitative that’s voluntary and holistic based. On IFI.org this program begins 18 months before the inmates release and continues for 12 months of mentoring. It’s volunteer and they must meet several criteria before their accepted. It operates in 50 states throughout Brazil with a recidivism rate of less than 5 %. Others are Ready4Work, Woman’s Re-entry Initiative, and Youth Violence Reduction. A few programs to help drug abusers are the Second Chance Program and Teen Challenge. The Second Chance Program uses six modules from drug withdrawal to job training. According to penalrehab.org, “Those who have completed the first month of the program before release, the normal recidivism rate of 70% dropped to less than 10 %”. And Teen Challenge has a 67% success rate. According to teenchallengeusa.org they admit adults and children to an effective and comprehensive faith-based solution to drug and alcohol addiction. Then the education programs already implemented on educateupdate.com say college prison programs nurture self-esteem and provide rehabilitative projects. The response to these projects is enthusiasm from inmates and the recidivism rate is 20-60% lower than non-participants. And finally, psychologists understand the effects of imprisonment and treat criminals with that in mind.
In conclusion, are rehabilitation programs effective? Yes, but I’m sure it depends on the criminal. We should have them because it allows inmates to re-enter society with support and an opportunity at a second chance. What could we do to help lower the recidivism rate of criminals? Well, we could vote for rehabilitation initiatives written by the government or even volunteer at you local city mission with these programs already in use. I’ll leave you with these words by Henrey Feilding, “Houses of correction, whatever the houses were designed to be or whatever they at first were, the fact is that they are at present…no other then schools of vice, seminars of idleness, and common bearers of nastiness and disease”.

Let Freedom Ring

"I'm singing for freedom/ I know I'm not the only one" (Run Kid Run "Freedom"). According to my favorite song, freedom can be achieved and only one person can grant it. The reasons why it's my favorite is because of the band as artists, the lyrics, and how I relate to it.I first thing I notice in a song is the music and the vocals that follow. Run Kid Run sing, "Freedom", which is currently my favorite song. They're a newly, popular Christian band. And not solemn hymnal music, though that's great too, I would classify them as a mix between alternative and soft rock. "Freedom" begins with a soft melody by piano playing and soft guitar strums. Drums pick up once the chorus starts bringing dramatical effect. But the one thing I picked up the most, in any song really, is the vocals. David Curtis is the lead vocalist and his voice overwhelms me. It's deep and buzzy pulling his emotions into the music. The last thing that keeps me hooked, is the lyrics. Their metaphorical of a prisoner compared to the life of a follower of God.Right off the bat, the lyrics begin with imagery. "All my chains I can't disengage/ I don't believe that I want to" (Run Kid Run "Freedom"). The narrator is trapped with no hope of escaping, but he wouldn't want to if he could. I believe this is the result of giving in to temptation and is now faced with the consequences. He continues with the next dilemma, "I keep holding my chains/ No longer bound/ Still you wait patiently" (Run Kid Run "Freedom"). Here the consequences are over; God has released his traps. However, he either doesn't want to give up his sin, or he too ashamed to come to God. And finally he gets a response, " take my hand grace has found you... in the end there's only love" (Run Kid Run "Freedom"). God reached his hand to pull him out of his misery. And though he couldn't see it, love was there, all he had to do is embrace it. But how do these lyrics with the music make it my favorite song?Well, I can relate to it. I enjoy the concept of freedom, beyond what my country gives me. I often feel enchained by anger the the problems that come my way. In the song, God rescued him as he has for me, and probably will again. I've gone through, from what I can tell, the same things the narrator has. So, it reminds me of difficult times and how God has pulled me out. This shows me, though I struggle too, it's encouraging to know I'm not the only one. This song also gives me a chance to worship. By remembering my past experiences, through the lyrics, I bring adoration to God. As well as, praises for his compassion, love, and forgiveness displayed in the song.So, though Run Kid Run is searching for freedom through difficulties and complete justice, for the time being, they bring us freedom. Often times we might forget, and they remind us of God's love through their song. They're a great band that bring thoughtful lyrics making "Freedom" an amazing song.

Spending Time With God

When I was little I always felt guilty if I didn't read my Bible or wanted to do something else instead. And it was wrong to watch tv at the same time. Well, when I started working at Mountain Lakes it would get really boring and I would run out of things to do sometimes, so I brought my Bible and would read in between customers. Then ever since I stopped working I would read my Bible while watching tv after Lily laid down for her nap. I think I do get insights from the Spirit while I'm reading, though I'm not giving my full attention. So, I thought it wasn't really a big deal. But something occured to me one night when I was done reading my usual studying I didn't want to stop, but I was tired of reading. I've been going through kind of a difficult time lately, just not really enjoying my circumstances and I've been waiting for some prayers to be answered for quiet some time. Not that I'm complaining, we all have to go through difficult times to grow. So, the last couple of weeks I've been looking for God's peace and some has filtered through my sorrow some days. So, that night I stared at the scriptures from a distance enough to see the words, but not actually read them. I felt a little relief and I imaged if God would be sitting across from me. And that's when I realized that's what I'm doing when I study the word. I'm spending time with God. Afterall they are his words his history. And how much more insight and peace I would feel if I read with the tv off. And that's why I feel comforted when I read the word.